What I hate about you
by Louiebugooey
Summary: I am no good at summaries but what the heck! HGDM. M for rather... imaginative language. The rest will come as it does. I have been informed this should also be a comedy so I thought I would add it here instead... Chicken.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Sorry people! Had to add something at the start to this otherwise it's exactly the same!**

Chapter one: Draco.

"YES!"

"Hey man! How's it going?"

"It's all good."

"Cool. Hey mate, here comes your girlfriend."

"Hi Pansy-babe" He hadn't seen his girlfriend at the feast last night. He would have been suspicious if he didn't trust her so much.

"Hey Draco. You know this? I don't think it's going to work out for me. Bye-bye." Pansy walked off after just making her award wining performance as bitch of the year.

Draco just stood there suddenly rooted to the spot, before Blaise came and hit him on the back.

"Mate, what the fuck was that about?" Blaise said (A/N: Suddenly adopting the good old Australian way of speech).

"She… dumped me" Draco said still shocked at the fact that he, Draco Malfoy, had been dumped.

"Ouch. And just like that? On the first day back? That's low." Blaise said trying his best to comfort his best friend in some way. "C'mon. classes will be starting soon. We better get ready." So Draco and Blaise walked off into the sunrise together (A/N: Sorry! I couldn't resist.) towards the castle.

**A/N: Sorry about the short chapter but it is easier for me this way so if you don't like it you should probably protest or something… naturally I wont listen but anything is worth a try! I hope you like it and please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I feel compelled to write one of these at the start and end so here it is!**

Chapter two: Hermione.

"Hey Herms!" Ron said.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Herms?" Hermione asked half heartedly.

"Try one million four thousand three hundred and twenty six" Harry said coming up behind her.

"Hey Hazza!" Ron said enthusiastically.

"Is today call everyone by the names they hate day?" Harry asked Ron.

"YES!" Ron shouted just slightly too loudly so all the children in the great hall turned around and looked at him strangely.

"Ok Ron calm down." Hermione said while rubbing his arm in a motherly way. Ron just burst out into a giggle fit for no reason at this point. Hermione and Harry just looked at each other and started to slowly back away. When Ron had clamed down a bit he saw them about three meters away (and still moving), looking at him like he was a madman.

"Hey guys! Get back here!" He said while running towards them. At this point Harry and Hermione just turned around and sprinted.

"Run! He's after us!" Harry screamed.

"Run away!"

"Guys! I promise I wont go mental if you slow down!" Ron called out after them but they took no notice and just kept running towards the common room.

**A/N: I hope you like it so far. I have to say that it is much better then my other FanFic. Oh, I mean: Both my FanFics are fan-taby-hooby-tasic and you should read my other one aswell… Cough cough.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well, here is your next installment of my FanFic that can't possibly have anybody hooked. If you have got this far I really hope you have left at least one comment, preferably not anonymous.**

Chapter three: Draco.

As he and Blaise walked towards the greenhouse the subject of girlfriends came up. (A/N: Surprise surprise!) "So what are you going to do now your single?" Blaise asked.

What do you mean 'what am I going to do'? I'm going to get myself a date for the dance" Draco replied smugly.

"You think you could get any girl you want don't you?" Blaise said, an idea forming in his head.

"I don't just think it. I know it." Draco said, puffing out his chest.

"I bet you Twenty bucks you couldn't get Hermione Granger to go out with you for two weeks." Blaise said grabbing a sack full of galleons out of his pocket.

"Ok then." Draco said macking a move for the galleons.

"Uh uh uh. Not until the two weeks are up." Blaise said waving the sack around. "You have two weeks to get 'the untouchable' to go out with you. You, my friend, Are attempting the impossible."

"Nothing." Draco said. "I repeat. Nothing, is impossible for Draco Malfoy."

"That's what you think." Blaise said putting the sack back in his pocket.

**A/N: I hope you guys liked this one! This is usually when I start to reply to Reviews but I'm not sure if we are aloud to do that yet so I'm just saying that I know you are not supposed to start with speech but, to put it simply, it's easier for me so suck if you don't like it. Thank you for reading and to all a good night/arfternoon/morning/day.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Due to the lack of reviews I have been getting I must assume that you like my FanFic and therefore I will continue to write it even if you think it is a piece of shite.**

Chapter four: Hermione.

Ron ran puffing into the dorm. "Why… did… you guys… do that?" He said gasping for breath. Harry and Hermione were in hysterics. They had just managed to send Ron running towards the Huffepuff dorms instead of going to Gryffindor tower. "Hey Hermione." He said once he caught his breath. "How did you make the way to the Hufflepuff dorms look like it was to up here?"

"Hey! Who said she did it?" Harry said calming down a bit.

"C'mon Harry. You can't seriously think Ron would think that you would think up, and pull off, something like that." Hermione said taking a break from laughing.

"What a, what a? To many 'think's in that sentence." Harry said looking confused.

"Our point exactly." Hermione finished glad she had won.

"We better get going guys. Classes start soon." Ron said Quietly gloating to himself over his and Hermione's win. Hermione walked out of the portrait followed by Ron and then Harry, still confused over what Hermione said.

As they walked out onto the grounds they saw Blaise waving a sack of something infront of Draco. "What the hell are they doing?" Ron asked as a rhetorical question.

"I have no idea." Harry said.

"That was supposed to be rhetorical Harry." Ron said slightly laughing.

"I knew that." Harry replied dumbly. Hermione just broke out into a new fit of laughter.

"Harry what is wrong wit you today?" Hermione asked when she calmed down again. "You seem like you're off in another world."

"Well I will find out next period." He said.

"Why?"

"Because I have divination next." He said with a slight sigh.

"Don't worry Hazza! I'm sure you will die again this year!" Ron said cheerfully.

"Oh ha de fucking ha!" Harry said sarcasticly.

**A/N: I think this is my longest chapter yet. I'm sure they will gradually get longer. Until then you must wait! HEHEHE! I just got a review then and (drum roll please)… THEY LIKED IT! WOOT WOOT! I bet when you said 'update soon' you didn't expect THIS soon! He he! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: And now for the fourth update tonight!**

Chapter five: Draco.

"What do you want my money for anyway?" Blaise asked randomly during potions.

"It's not the money I want. It is the concept of you thinking that I can't get any girl I want." Draco said not looking up from his work.

"If you are so sure of yourself, go and ask her out now." Blaise said jerking his head towards Hermione.

"If she says 'yes' will you up the prize?"

"Hell no!" Blaise shouted. Snape slithered over to him.

"I suggest you keep it down Zambini." He hissed.

When he was out of earshot Blaise turned to Draco, "He never liked me as much as you." he complained.

"If you don't up the prize I'm not asking her." Draco said, ignoring Blaises whining.

"Well then I guess you wont be getting any moolah." Blaise said extracting the sack from his pocket and waving it in front of his face again.

"Nup." Draco said crossing his arms.

"Fine then, the bets off." Blaise said putting the money back in his pocket.

"Ok fine! I'll do it. But remember this is purely on concept." Draco said uncrossing his arms and getting up. He walked, no, strutted towards Hermione.

"Hey Hermione." He greeted her ignoring Harry and Ron.

"What now 'Drakie-poo'?" Hermione said imitating Pansy.

"I wanted to know if-" He started but Hermione cut him off.

"No."

"Not even-"

"NO" Hermione said trying to get the message through his thick head. Draco sulked back over to Blaise who started laughing at the fact Draco had been blown of for the first time in his life.

"What's so funny?" Draco said when he sat down again.

"You. You got blown off!" Blaise said puffing out his chest and imitating Draco "I can get any girl I want because I'm a Malfoy and have so much money I use it to wipe my ass."

"Shut up you!" Draco said as he whacked Blaise across the head.

"OW! Dickhead! That hurt!" Blaise said.

**A/N: I hope these chapters are coming fast enough because I am so bored if they aren't I can write them faster for you. Although I should be going to bed soon. Anyways, you're not here to read my life story! You guys had better review because otherwise I will go on strike again and if I go on strike I loose my interest and quit writing! At least until I get bored again.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: the song to listen to while reading this is 'natural woman' by 'Aretha Franklin.' Why? I hear you ask. The simple answer is purely because I'm listening to it at this time right now and that's all. Not because it has any relevance to the chapter or anything. That is all.**

Chapter six: Hermione.

"He had to choose a super duper hard potion to do, didn't he?" Ron asked his friends.

"Oh come on Ron. It's really 'super duper' easy when you think about it." Hermione said.

"NO! Please don't think!" Harry said putting his arms over his head as if to shield it from something.

"Why?" Ron asked stupidly.

"Because you will explode and cover us all in you skull!" Harry said still shielding his head. Hermione tried to suppress a laugh because Snape just looked over at them. She gave Harry a jab in the ribs to indicate that Snape was watching and, although a bit slow, Harry caught on and quickly put his arms down.

"HELL NO!" Blaise shouted.

"What has gotten into him?" Harry asked rhetorically.

"I don't know." Ron answered.

"Now who's being thick?" Harry asked rhetorically again.

"Me." Ron said hanging his head in mock shame. Hermione tried to suppress another giggle, not very successfully but the point is she tried.

When she next looked up from her work Draco was strutting and smirking his way towards her. _Oh great. _She thought._ What does he want now?_

"Hey Hermione." He said totally ignoring Ron and Harry. _Oh how I burn at his rudeness!_

"What now 'Drakie-poo'?" Hermione said imitating Pansy.

"I wanted to know if-" He started but Hermione cut him off.

"No."

"Not even-"

"NO" Hermione said trying to get the message through his thick head. _How thick can you get? No way will I ever tutor him!_ She thought.

"Hermione, was Draco actually talking to you then? Without insulting you?" Harry asked.

"No Harry" Hermione said sarcastically. "He was talking to my chair."

"Oh." Harry said faking a dawning expression. "Ok then." Hermione couldn't help but let her giggles get the better of her this time.

**A/N: You know what? I hadn't thought of it before but someone said something that made me think. Do you think Harry and Ron should get together? It might add comical value cough cough or be super duper freaky ass shit. I like it. Tell me what you think! This might be a new record. Five updates in under an hour! I rock! Do the happy dance!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry guys! I put up chapter 6 twice by accident (than you for pointing that out)! Here is chapter seven!**

Chapter seven: Draco.

"You got blown off by Hermione 'mudblood' Granger!" Blaise was pissing himself over the fact that Draco 'I can get any girl I want' Malfoy got blown off by Hermione! Of all the people!

"Shut up about that already!" Draco said getting annoyed at the fact he had carried on like this all day.

"I don't think I will. I like the fact that I am, so far, winning this bet!" Blaise said rather smugly. "And anyway. YOU GOT BLOWN OFF!" He souted.

"Do you have to shout that loud dickhead?" Draco hissed.

"OF COURSE I DO!" Blaise said continuing to shout.

"What will it take for you to shut up?" Draco asked, getting slightly desperate now.

"A LOT! IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP IT DOWN THEN NOTHING MORE THEN SOME MANNERS!" Blaise shouted.

"Blaise, Would you please shut the fucking hell up?" Draco asked in a very polite tone.

"Why of course. Anything for you king off getting blown off." Blaise said bowing down before Draco.

"Very funny Blaise but let me ask you-"Blaise cut Draco of at this second.

"No. You can't ask me anything because you are so low you got blown off." Blaise said.

"Just a second ago you were bowing down before me." Draco said. _I just have to win now._

"A guy can change his mind." Blaise said matter-of-factly.

"You are a king for life!" Draco said holding his hand over his heart.

"Then we have to assassinate you don't we?" Blaise said pulling out his wand.

"Or," Draco said. "I could run now and you would chase me in a lame attempt to kill me." And with these words he was off like a flash around the courtyard. Who would have thought he was so fast?

"Die! I swear you are going to die!" Blaise shouted after him.

Draco stopped for a second to shout back "We're all going to die Blaise!"

"Then you are going to die very soon at a very early age." Blaise said making up ground.

"Well in that case," Draco said turning back around. "I better run." And just like that he was off again.

**A/N: I'm sorry that things may be happening a little fast or make no sense. Well I'm not realy but I want to seem like I am a nice person. Now off I go to write more chapters that happen to fast and don't make sense!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I told you I would write more so here it is! I'm having fun with this story so I am continuing to write it (no duh!), of course if you don't like it I am happy for you to voice your opinion, if you are looking for some one who will listen then please use a phone to call some one who will.**

Chapter eight: Hermione.

"Look at Blaise." Harry said looking at Blaise like he was a madman. Blaise was just laughing hysterically and to Harry it looked like he was going to piss his pants. "He looks like he's going piss himself."

"I wonder what's so funny." Hermione said in that voice she got just before she rushed off to the library to look something up.

"You can't look up 'what makes Blaise Zambini laugh' in the library Herms." Ron said grabbing her arm to stop her from running off.

"Sure you can." Hermione said hopefully. "All you need to do is go to the 'z' section then-" Harry put his hand up to indicate that he had enough of her library obsessed rambling.

"You. Can't. Look. Up. What. Blaise. Is. Laughing. About." He said very slowly to try and get it into her head. "It. Is. Almost. Impossible."

"Ok then. I will just have to watch and see." She said suddenly pinning her eyes on Blaise.

"YOU GOT BLOWN OFF!" Blaise shouted all of the sudden.

"Well that was random." Ron said.

"OF COURSE I DO!" Blaise said continuing to shout. Draco leaned in closer to Blaise and whispered something to him.

"A LOT! IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP IT DOWN THEN NOTHING MORE THEN SOME MANNERS!" Blaise continued to shout but now gradually getting louder. Draco looked like he gave in and said something to Blaise that made him shut up. Then Blaise got down on his knees and began to bow down before Draco. Draco seemed like he would burst with anger or annoyance.

Just a second after Blaise got up again Draco sprinted to the other side of the courtyard.

"How the hell can he run so fast?" Hermione asked.

"Like I know." Ron and Harry said at the same time. Hermione just started laughing again.

"You guys are never ever going to fully grasp the concept of a rhetorical question are you?" She said exasperated.

"No." They said in unison. Hermione just sighed.

Draco stopped running to tell Blaise something. When he turned around and sprinted again he crashed right into Hermione.

**A/N: Hope you all like this one! I feel so loved! When I got on I had seven new reviews! That's almost half of what I got on my other fanfic! WOOT WOOT! I might make Blaise gay as well. What do you think about that? Anyways I'll post this then start writing again for you!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Here it is! The next chapter in my compelling story of love and hate! cough cough. Well, yet again I hope you like this one and all the other stuff. Have I done a disclaimer yet? I can't remember… Oh well! If I haven't please inform me! I realy can't be bothered checking.**

Chapter nine: Draco.

"HE DOESN'T!"

"Man." Blaise said. "I thought those guys couldn't get any weirder." Indicating towards Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"And you really want me to go out with one of them!" Draco said.

"Not just any one of them, Harry in particular."

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!" Draco screamed like a girl.

"I was just kidding!" Blaise said preparing for Draco to hit him.

"You realize I am this close," Draco held his finger and thumb half a centimeter away from each other. "to decking you?"

"I realized. But considering that you are even weaker then golden boy over there I'm not realy scared." Blaise said teasingly.

"I may not be strong but I sure as well am smart." Draco said trying lamely to cling onto his pride. Blaise just started laughing hysterically again.

"You! Smart? Hahahahaha!" Blaise suddenly stopped laughing a dawning expression creeping its way onto his face.

"What? What is it?" Draco said curiously.

"Maybe she didn't thin you were asking her out." He said.

"Who didn't think what now?" Draco said confused.

"Maybe Hermione didn't think you were asking her out."

"Well what else could she have thought?"

"Well she is pretty strong, and smart." Blaise said.

"How would you know if she is strong or not?"

"I wouldn't know first hand but from all the complaining you did the other year when she punched you I take it she is strong."

"Are you suggesting that she thought I was asking her to train me?" Draco said pompously.

"To put it simply, yes." Blaise said.

"But… Uh… No!" Draco was so surprised at Blaise's accusation (and how much sense it made) that this was the best he could come up with.

**A/N: So what do you think of this one? Good, bad, so totally funny you wet yourself halfway through so you had to read the rest with no pants on? Anyway I love writing this one! I'm nine reviews off beating my other FanFic (review wise)! Hehe! I'm strange…**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Third update in maybe twenty minutes. I'm going to break my record!**

Chapter ten: Hermione.

They were sitting next to the lake. Harry and Ron were shooting random spells into the lake to see what would happen and Hermione was reading _Hogwarts: A history_ for what must be the millionth time.

"You know when Malfoy came and talked to you in potions, what do you think he was going to ask?" Ron asked, sick of the silence.

"Probably asking me to tutor him or something like that." Hermione replied not looking up from her book.

"I don't know. He didn't look like he was asking to be tutored." Ron said.

"Anyway. When would Malfoy ever asked to be tutored let alone by you." Harry said joining into the conversation. "No offence. It's just because you're a mugle born." He added quickly after seeing the look Hermione was giving him.

"Maybe he was asking you out." Ron said more to himself then anyone else.

"No way! Why would he do that?" Hermione said feeling a little worried. _What would the world come to if he was?_

"Maybe he fancies you." Harry said more stirring trouble then anything else.

"No he doesn't." Hermione said.

"Yes he does." Harry said realizing it was getting on her nerves.

"He doesn't."

"He does."

"He doesn't."

"He does."

"HE DOESN'T!" Hermione shrieked.

"Ok ok! He doesn't just please don't hex me." Harry said pushing his back up against a rock. Hermione looked down at her hand. She had subconsciously pulled out her wand.

"Oh sorry Harry." She said putting her wand back away. "I didn't even realize."

"Oi!" Ron said. "I am here too!"

"Yeah but I didn't pull a wand out on you."

"I'm sure I wouldn't be scared if you did." He said.

"Wanna make a bet?" Harry said. "She looked fucking scary man." While Harry and Ron were debating Hermione had crept up behind Ron pulled out her wand and put her hair infront of her face to make her look angry. She pointed it to the back of his head and tapped him on the shoulder.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Screamed Ron when he turned around. He flung himself against the rock Harry was on.

"Told you! She looks super fucking duper scary!" Harry said.

"OK. You guys win. Hermione is the scariest angry person with a wand." Ron said kneeling down before Hermione. "We hail you oh mighty 'super fucking duper scary' one." He said owing down.

"Yeah." Harry said bowing down before her as well. "What he said."

**A/N: I just wanted to clear something up because it might be a bit confusing, I did a Quentin Tarrantino thing and went forwards then back in time so that's why nothing happened when Draco ran into Hermione. You guys better be reviewing after you read this! **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Here it is! Number eleven! I am on my way to glory! In a way… sort of… not really… not at all… anyway! This is where the falling on top of Hermione stuff happens! Hope it clears up anything that wasn't before! I still need to know about Blaise being gay guys! Tell me! Tell me now! **

Chapter eleven: Draco.

_Come on Draco. You can get off her. Just get up._

"GET OFF ME!" Shrieked Hermione, attempting to push Draco off her. After a second Draco managed to get himself off her with maximum pain on her behalf. "Ow! That hurt dickhead!" she shouted at him.

"Oh I'm soooooo sorry." Draco said sarcastically. "Stinking mudblood." He muttered afterwards. _Maybe I shouldn't be so mean to her…_

"I heard that!"

"What? I didn't say anything." Draco said looking innocent.

"Give him the benefit of the doubt." Blaise said.

"I'll give him something all right!" She said not realizing this could be interpreted wrongly.

"I don't think I want anything from you." Draco said.

"I meant a hex you nonghead!" She said.

"I don't particularly want that either." He said thoughtfully.

"You're not thinking are you?" Harry said.

"Don't start that. I saw you do that one in potions." Blaise said.

"Wanna make something of it?" Ron said stepping forward.

"Guys!" Hermione and then after a small pause she turned to Draco and Blaise. "Oh and things. You shouldn't fight over me! I know I'm the sexiest girl in the world but seriously guys this is ridiculous. Now we just forget anything happened." At this all the boys stepped back a little, as if repulsed. _Her! Sexy? Give me a break! She is far from sexy! Maybe a little cute. Wait! I can't be thinking this! Shut up Draco! Look normal god damn it!_

"This is when you walk away." Hermione said, referring to Draco and Blaise.

"No duh." Blaise said. He started to walk away but Draco just stood there. "Are ya comin' mate?" Blaise asked. Draco snapped out of his trance.

"What? Oh, yeah." He said and turned to walk off. _You are mad Draco. Totally mad…_

"What was that about mate?" Blaise asked as they walked off.

"Oh. Nothing. I was just… thinking."

"About what she might give you?" Blaise said teasingly.

"FUCK NO!" Draco said raising his hand to hit Blaise, but Blaise ducked just in time.

"You missed." He said. He started to run in the hope of getting a head start on Draco. Unfortunately for him Draco caught up in no time and talked him down. "OK! You win. Just get off me!" Blaise said desperately.

"That's better." Draco said as he got up and walked away. _I always win. I ROCK!_

**A/N: Thought I needed to point out that the italics are Draco's thoughts. Unless it is a chapter from Hermione's PoV, in that case it would be her thoughts.**

**I hope you guys liked this chapter! I might need to also point out that this happened before they were at the lake. Same with chapters seven and eight. **

**You guys better review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Shame on those of you who read and like my story yet don't leave a comment! SHAME!**

Chapter twelve: Hermione.

_Why is he hesitating? I have to get him off me._ "GET OFF ME!" Shrieked Hermione, attempting to push Draco off her. It took him a while but he as he got off he pushed his elbows into her really hard. "OW! That hurt dickhead!"

"Oh I'm soooooo sorry." Draco said sarcastically. "Stinking mudblood." He muttered afterwards. _Why the fuck is he such a try hard fucking dickhead? Better say something back…_

"I heard that!"

"What? I didn't say anything." Draco said looking innocent.

"Give him the benefit of the doubt." Blaise said.

"I'll give him something all right!" She said not realizing this could be interpreted wrongly.

"I don't think I want anything from you." Draco said.

"I meant a hex you nonghead!" She said.

"I don't particularly want that either." He said thoughtfully.

"You're not thinking are you?" Harry said.

"Don't start that. I saw you do that one in potions." Blaise said.

"Wanna make something of it?" Ron said stepping forward.

"Guys!" Hermione and then after a small pause she turned to Draco and Blaise. "Oh and things. You shouldn't fight over me! I know I'm the sexiest girl in the world but seriously guys this is ridiculous. Now we just forget anything happened." At this all the boys stepped back a little, as if repulsed._ Why did they step back like that? I'm not THAT bad am I?Why is Draco looking at me like that?_

"This is when you walk away." Hermione said, referring to Draco and Blaise.

"No duh." Blaise said. He started to walk away but Draco just stood there. "Are ya comin' mate?" Blaise asked. Draco snapped out of his trance.

"What? Oh, yeah." He said and turned to walk off. _What the fuck is wrong with him?_

"What was that?" Ron asked as they walk away.

"I have no fucking idea. Do you know?" Harry said.

"No Harry. That's why people ask questions. To find things out." Ron said.

"That's why I asked. 'To find things out'" He said.

"I thought Ron and I were the ones always bickering." Hermione said.

"No we don't."

"Yes we do."

"No we don't"

"Yeah, Ron. You to do bicker a hell of a lot." Harry said trying to stop the bickering. Ron just huffed.

**A/N: And here it is. The last chapter. Bye bye guys!**

**HAHA! Scared you didn't I? No? I didn't? Aw. I'm going to go cry now.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I haven't had any new reviews so I must now assume things. Such as Blaise, Harry and Ron being gay. Shame on the non-reviewers! **

Chapter 13: Draco.

Draco sat in the common room wondering where the flock of girls that normally followed him around was. "I've lost my mojo." He said imitating a muggle thing he saw once.

"What the fuck?" Blaise asked.

"I saw it on a muggle thing once."

"You watched a muggle anything?"

"Can't bag it 'till you try it." He replied.

"So what's it mean?"

"It means no girls like me anymore." He said depressingly.

"Aw. Cheer up mate! You will get at least one girl." Blaise said hopefully.

"But she doesn't count. She is just her. I need them." Draco said flinging his arms out to indicate many many girls.

"Come on mate. You can work through this!"

"You think?" Draco said, like a dog depeding on it's master's word to be ok.

"Yeah! Of course you can. Now let's stop this girly D&M to do something manly." Blaise said flexing his biceps. Draco just started laughing.

"You know, girls aren't the only human beings with feelings."

"Yes they are." Said Blaise as if that closed the matter.

"Men can be so insensitive." Draco said huffing.

"You're not going gay on me are you?" Said Blaise sounding a little excited.

"Hell no! Only fags are gay!" Draco shouted.

"Umm. No shit dick wad!" Blaise said now sounding like he was hiding his disappointment.

**A/N: There you go! Blaise is possibly gay! Gives your imagination a work out! Make of it what you wish! And all those other things that mean I'm just giving myself something to work on but I don't want you to know. Can you guys please review if you read this story! I am begging you! I feel so unwanted when I have over 700 hits and only 15 reviews. I feel like crying! Except I wont because I know it's just the hormones taking over:P**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Don't I update just so fucking fast? Oh I am amazing! **

Chapter 14: Hermione.

"No homework! WOOT WOOT!" Shouted Harry.

"Come on! Let's do the happy dance!" Ron said.

"What the fuck is 'the happy dance'?" Harry asked.

"Well first you move your arms like you're stirring a cauldron, then you kick you're legs out like this."

"The can-can." Hermione said.

"Ok. I guess you could call it that." Ron said.

"No, that's what muggles call it."

"Oh. Well anyway. Then you say 'do the happy dance uh-huh uh-huh the happy dance', over and over again." Ron said, and then he got up from his chair and walked into the middle of the common room.

"DO THE HAPPY DANCE UH-HUH UH-HUH THE HAPPY DANCE!" He shouted. Harry decided he would join in. "UH-HUH UH-HUH THE HAPPY DANCE!" The whole common room looked at them strangely. All of Ginny's friends were asking her about Ron but she denied she had ever seen either of them before.

"Guys, you better stop." Hermione said.

"Why? Harry said stopping for a second. "We're having fun."

"You have homework." Hermione said. Ron stopped in mid word.

"Homework! What homework!" He said worriedly.

"The homework that should have been done during the holidays, which I am positive neither of you have actually finished." She said adopting her know-it-all tone.

"Shit!" Harry and Ron said in unison. They quickly sat down and pulled out their books.

"Woh. You guys are almost as gullible as a fronkywoket." Hermione said in between giggles.

"Why? What have we done?" Ron asked.

"We don't have any homework." Hermione said.

"Then why did you tell us we did?" Harry asked.

"To get you guys to stop acting like a pair of gay men." She said.

"We were not acting gay." Ron said indignantly.

"Yes you were. Anyway, now that you have stopped you can do some reading to get ahead." Hermione said handing them each a book.

"Fuck this." Harry said. "I'd rather go to bed." He prepared to throw the book across the room but then saw Hermione's disapproving and horrified look and extremely gently placed it on the table.

"Ditto." Ron said also placing his book on the table with great care and getting up to go to bed.

When Harry and Ron got far enough up the stairs so that everyone could see them they turned around and shouted "Goodnight all!" Hermione and Ginny both went scarlet. It was only 4 PM!

**A/N: Now I am getting slightly pissed because NO ONE IS REVIEWING! I am going to explode with anger soon! If that happens then it means there is no more fantastically funny FanFics from me! How will you deal then! None of me being up myself! No more Hermione and Draco Fanfics! OK maybe they will still be here but I won't! GRRRR. **

**Just incase you get confused,** **fronkywokets** **are my own creation. They are small black and purple spiky things that are super fucking duper gullible. Other then them being gullible they are very loyal and despite them being very small they make very very good bodyguards/guards because if anything threatens/harms their master they kill them five times before they hit the ground.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in so so so so soooo long! The computer (more specifically the internet) went totally spako so I couldn't use it. Anyway, I'm sure you all want me to continue now so here it goes!**

Chapter 15: Draco.

"Damn it Blaise!"

"What have I done now?" Blaise said waking up from his slumber. **(A/N: I love that word!)**

"You were muttering about guys in your sleep you poofter!" Draco yelled at him.

"I was not!"

"Were too."

"Were not."

"You can't speak English can you?" Draco asked.

"What did I stuff up now oh mighty king of English?" Blaise asked mockingly.

"Well now I can't tell you can I?" Draco said.

"Why not?"

"Because you mocked me."

"Fuck you."

"Get in line!"

"In case you didn't realize you do not have a line any more." Blaise said in that matter-of-fact tone that I think people use a lot in this FanFic because I like the tone.

"OK. That is going too far. Just too far." Draco replied.

"I'm so sorry." Blaise said sarcastically.

"Dick head." Draco muttered.

"What was that? Did you just say what I thought you did?"

"Depends on what you thought."

"You bastard! I'm going to get you now!" Blaise said throwing a pillow at Draco's head. Draco just laughed.

"That was supposed to hurt?"

"No but this is." Blaise said picking up his wand and throwing a hex at Draco.

"Dick wad." Draco said through a mouthful of worms. "You're dead now." They spent the rest of the morning throwing random hexes at each other across the bedroom.

**A/N: What did you think? Is it ok? I'm glad I have a lot more reviews now! I went into my inbox and it was (sorta, kinda, not really) clogged with reviews! They make me so happy! They were all good! It rocks! Anyways, on a totally different topic, I went on a camp run by John Marsden! It was the best and funniest thing ever! If you are in Australia you should go! It's at Tye estate! Look it up!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I am so super duper angry! My little sister came on and deleted about five chapters! Oh how I burn!**

Chapter 16: Hermione.

"Don't you ever sleep?" Harry asked as he came down the stairs.

"What are you talking about? Of course I do." Hermione replied looking up from her book. **(A/N: As she seems to do a lot.)**

"Doesn't seem like it. You're always awake when we go to bed and when we get up." Ron said coming up behind Harry.** (A/N: Not in THAT way you sick minded people! Although… that might not be such a bad idea…)**

"That's because I have a different sleeping pattern to you guys."

"Chicken!"

"What the fuck? Why did you do that Ron?" Harry asked turning around.

"I dunno. I felt like it."

"Woh. You are super duper scary Ron." Hermione said.

"Look who's talking, queen of super fucking duper scariness!"

"Breakfast!"

"Yay!"

"We are weird."

"Totally."

"Woot!" So having exchanged many (almost) pointless words they went down to breakfast.

As they were sitting and eating their wiz-wiz pops **(A/N: Please don't kill me because that was super duper lame! If you have to kill me, kill me because I am a freak!)** They saw Blaise and Draco enter looking like they had just been hexed into last summer.

"What the hell happened to those two?" Ron asked.

"Are the rhetorical questions ever going to stop?" Hermione asked.

"Well according to this book... no." Harry said imitating Hermione's know-it-all tone of voice.

"Well it looks like Snape is taking care of them now." Ron said.

"Of to madam Pomfrey's!" Hermione sung to 'the yellow brick road' song from 'The Wizard of Oz'. "Of to, of to, of to, of to, of to madam Pomfrey's!" Harry grabbed Ron and they both joined in singing and skipping out of the great hall.

**A/N: I just want to thank 'Rachel'. It's people like him/her who make me the way I am today.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Here it is chapter seventeen. I am amazing…**

Chapter 17: Draco

"You still haven't got Hermione to go out with you." Blaise said at a totally random time and place and all that.

"Well I will. I will go right now and ask her again."

"You're a weird one. I was informing you and you go and make it sound like I insulted you."

Draco ignored Blaise and walked up to Hermione. "Hey Hermione! Wanna go out?"

"OK then. Where, when and how?" she replied calmly.

"Details, details." Draco said waving his hand like the queen. "See you around."

"Toodle-oo!" Hermione said cheerfully.

"Get blown off again?" Blaise said as Draco walked up to him.

"No."

"Then what happened?"

"We're going out."

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Shouted Blaise, then, noticing the stares he got he added more quietly, "How did you manage that?"

"If I told you, you would be able to use the amazing power of Draco Malfoy to get any girl you want. That would be so horrific that I would have to kill you." Draco said matter-of-factly. **(A/N: How many times have people said things in a mater-of-fact manor now?)** "Now, where's my payment?"

"Well, I was thinking. Since that was so easy for you I'm raising the stakes."

"Finally." Draco muttered.

Blaise continued, ignoring Draco's remark. "An extra galleon for every week you stay together."

"You're on." Draco said shaking hands to secure the deal. "Now give me the money you owe me." He said turning his palm upwards. Blaise handed over the bag with the money in it.

"I still think you want the money for something." He said.

"And if I do?"

"I dunno. Something will happen."

**A/N: I forgot that Hermione and Draco weren't going out yet so I figured I would make it happen. Tell me what you think. **

**I think I am just going to make a lot of references to Harry, Ron and Blaise being gay. As many people are for it as there are against… well not really but I wanted them to be gay but I also wanted to make you guys happy so I compromised.**

**Before I go I would like to say that 'Rachel' seems to be a coward as he/she did not leave any contact details or even bothered to login. People should learn that if they are going to criticize they should, at the very least, leave some way of communication so that the person they are criticizing can tell them exactly what they think of their criticism and where to stick it. **

**And now on a happy note I say thank you to everyone who has reviewed, even 'Rachel'.**

**Louie!**

**P.S. I'm going to say a lot about this 'Rachel' character for a while so please don't stop reading on account of it.**

**P.P.S. I am now writing just to spite 'Rachel'.**

**P.P.P.S. 'Don't stop me now!'**

**P.P.P.P.S. Sorry had to add a Queen song in there.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: A song for people. To the tune of fill the decks with bits of holly, or what ever that Christmas carol is.**

**Fill the school with kerosene (Falalalala lalalala)**

**Light a match and watch it gleam (falalalala lalalala)**

**Watch the school burn down to ashes (falala falala lalala)**

**Aren't you glad you played with matches? (falalalala lalalalaaaa)**

**That was random… but fun! **

Chapter 18: Hermione

"Ask him out."

"Why would I do that?" Hermione and her two best friends were sitting in a totally random place.

"Because you love Draco." Harry had been trying to get Hermione to admit her undying love for Draco Malfoy.

"Look, I know how to settle this." Ron said trying (and possibly succeeding for once in his life) to be peace-keeper. "Next time someone asks Hermione out she has to say yes."

"That'll settle it."

"How do you expect me to do that? I would be lying to them."

"So?"

"Your point being…?"

"You guys are hopeless."

"Hey look. Perfect timing." Harry said as he saw Draco walking up behind Hermione.

"Act calm and don't make it look like we made you do this."

"Hey Hermione! Wanna go out?" Draco, having just strutted his way up behind her, now thought that this was a fantastic pick-up line, or so Hermione thought.

"OK then. Where, when and how?" _May as well get this over with._

"Details, details." Draco said waving his hand like the queen. "See you around." _Gosh he is up himself._

"Toodle-oo!" _Oh gosh. Damn you Harry! Damn you Ron! Look at what you made me do!_

"See? It wasn't that hard." Ron said feeling very proud of himself.

"God damn it you guys! I can't believe I did that! I have to go tell him what happened." She said beginning to get up.

"Oh no you don't." Harry said as he and Ron grabbed her arm, his fingers grabbing Ron's in the process.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Damn that Blaise. He makes everything so loud. I hate him." Ron said although his bodily language was totally contradicting what he said. **(A/N: I DO NOT MEAN HE HAS A BONNER YOU SICK MINDED PEOPLE!)**

"Oh." Harry muttered, noticing Ron's body language and putting two and two together.

"Go fuck each other will you!" Hermione said trying to get their hands off her, although after she said this it took no time at all for them to spring backwards holding their arms close to them as if the other one was going to cut it off.

"No way!" They both said.

"Oh yeah I forgot. You both want me bad." She said stepping closer to them and putting her hand on their shoulders. "Meet me in the library." She said huskily. Harry and Ron just jumped back again. "I knew it. You are gay."

"Am not!"

**A/N: Voila! The eighteenth chapter. I wonder how long This will be… Oh well. Writing to spite people works for me!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I feel like writing in the little French I know. Voila chapter dix-neuf. Enjoy! Lol. That sounds so lame, with the random French and English words. Hehe. **

Chapter 19: Pansy

"WHAT! How can he have got over me so quickly?" It had been a week since Hermione and Draco got together. "So now he is with 'know-it-all mudblood Granger', what could have possessed him?" Pansy was furious.

"Hey, don't kill me. I'm just the messenger." Blaise said holding his hands up innocently. "Don't you want to get back at him though?"

"Oh, nah!" She said sarcastically.

"If we get together he would be dead jealous."

"OK then. It's on." She said holding out her hand as if making a deal.

**A/N: OK I know it is super duper short chapter but I needed this short. I couldn't drag out certain involvements.**

**Gosh! Guess what I love! **

**SWEETENED CONDENSED MILK!**

**I love it so much! So sweet and sweet! **

**That is all.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: To make up for the short chapter, Here is some more.**

Chapter 20: Draco

_I wonder where Blaise is._ Draco was sitting alone in the library trying to finish off his overly over-due assignments. _He said he would meet me here so we could 'help' the other's. we would never steal their answers of course…_

"Hello Draco." He spun around slightly shocked at the unexpected voice, and then shocked even more when he saw who it was.

"Yes?" He said trying to disguise his shockedness. **(A/N: I know it's not a word but I like it!)**

"I was wondering what time our date would be."

"How about the next Hogsmead weekend? You can meet me at the school gate."

"OK then. What will we be doing?" _Merlin! This girl sure likes to ask questions._

"I guess we could just walk around, maybe get a drink or something."

"OK. I'll see you then." She walked off. _Damn! She is sexy…_

He turned back to his work just as Blaise got back. He looked somewhat disheveled. As if he had just run a marathon, or had a wild night at a party, if you catch my drift.

"Man, where were you?"

"Just forgot something. I had to go back for it."

"Gosh. You must be _the_ most forgetful person I know."

"What about longbottom?"

"Oh, forgot about him." ****

**A/N: Another short chapter! Oh well. By the time you guys read these I will probably have written at least one more. Oh the ups of being on the other side of the world. Naturally it is perfect in almost every way… **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Tada! The not so long awaited chapter 21 is up!**

Chapter 21: Hermione

"So you do like him then?"

"I guess. Sort of but not really. Well kind of but no."

"Can you get any more indecisive?" Ron asked.

"Where the hell did you learn that word?" Harry asked as he ate his breakfast.

"I am sure he heard me use it some time Harry. No need to get worked up." Hermione replied for Ron.

"You guys just assume only I am an idiot don't you?"

"That's not true. I assume Harry is an idiot too."

"That makes me feel better." Ron said sarcastically.

"Anyway," Harry said trying to change the subject. "If you like him why not go out properly for once?" **(A/N: To complicate or not to complicate… Hmmm… it's a tough one.)**

"We need to organize a time and stuff."

"Hogsmead weekend is coming up, why not go then?"

"He said he was busy."

"I see…" Ron was now trying to act old and wise so that Hermione didn't assume he was an idiot.

Harry said something to quickly that no one could have understood it except for me because I am the author so I rock the god damned world!

"What was that?" Ron asked, he hoped Harry said what he thought he said.

"Nothing." Harry said realizing what he had done and turning redder then a naughty child's bottom. **(A/N: I made that up… it is shite.)**

"Will you guys kiss and make-out now?" Hermione said exasperated.

"NO!" They both said a little too quickly.

**A/N: What now?**

**I do not know…**

**Hits: 5128**

**Reviews: 53**

**Favs: 10**

**Alerts: 16**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Fan fare Here it is! The (very) shortly awaited next chapter!**

Chapter 22: Draco

"Hey babe."

"Hey." She waved as she walked up to him. "How's it been?" _How can she be so sexy without even trying?_

"Not so good, but now you're here."

"That must be the lamest and cheesiest line ever."

"I am the master of them. It's surprising how much they work!"

"Oh you." She said playfully hitting his arm.

"Now _that_ is corny" Draco said moving in closer to her. She inched forward, he put his hands around her waist, she put her arms around his neck then-

"What the hell?" Blaise barged in through the door **(A/N: As opposed to through the wall…)** of the astronomy tower. "Since when?" He said pointing from one to the other.

"Two weeks" She said.

"But that's when…" Blaise's head was having trouble soaking this up.

"Yes. That is when Hermione and I got together." Draco said in that oh-so-popular matter-of-fact tone. "Now will you please leave?" He said, not really asking but more ordering. Blaise slowly backed out of the room and closed the door behind him. "Now, where were we?" Draco asked her.

"Oh gosh." Blaise said stopping outside the dungeon, everything having just sunk in.

**A/N: I love 'gosh'! It is the bestest word in the whole universe! WOOT! Well… I feel like putting up my blog (oh how I normally hate them) address… but I don't think I can be bothered so ha, ha!**

**Reviews: 68**

**Hits: 6048**

**Favs: 12**

**Alerts: 18**

**P.S. If you have msn I am louiebugooey… hint, hint.. lol!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Well people want to know who this girl is, I would tell you but I don't know myself yet. Oh well. I am sure we will all find out soon. Suggestions would be good! Hint, hint.**

Chapter 23: Hermione

"So you guys had fun then?"

"Did we ever! We spent all our time in Zonko's!"

"You could smuggle all the stuff in here without me?" Hermione still wouldn't believe that Harry and Ron could possibly perform adequate magic without her.

"Oh of course not." Ron said in that ever-so-popular and over-used matter-of-fact tone. "We didn't even try. We used our wits instead."

"Oh sure. Like you have wits." She said sarcastically.

"Well since you asked, we put them outside one of the shrieking shack so we can get them later."

"Well, that makes you idiots."

"Why? We are geniuses!"

"Or you would be if you remembered that not only does Dumbledore know about that passageway but you can't get to it."

"Why can't we?'

"You don't have the invisibility cloak anymore."

"Oh yeah…" Harry said suddenly remembering.

"Wait! Since when didn't we have it?"

"Since yesterday when I hid it from you."

"Fuck you!"

"Get in line Ron!"

"That's a short one."

"Only if you stand back and squint." _I always wanted to say that! I have no idea why though…_

**A/N: I know it is short one, but I have waited to long to update!**

**I hope you all like it!**

**If you don't feel free to flame me, they are rather amusing… **

**Hits: 6584**

**Reviews: 71**

**Alerts: 18**

**Favs: 12**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: The amazing things you will do when you are bored…**

Chapter 24: Draco

"I can't believe Hermione hasn't caught me yet." Draco said casually as he walked to class with Blaise.

"She will." Blaise was against the whole cheating thing. He was fine with fucking a new girl every night, just as long as it never got serious.

"NO she won't. I am way too careful and witical!"

"Don't you mean cunning?"

"No."

"Gosh. You are an idiot." Blaise said rolling his eyes **(A/N: I hate it when people have to much dialog to remember who is who.)**

"And yet, I am a genius who has two girls at once!"

"Exactly."

"You know what Blaise?"

"What now?"

"You have too many morals."

"Gosh you are strange."

"And you say gosh too much. Are you gay?"

"NO!"

"Yes."

"NO! no no no no no no no no."

"That means yes and you know it!"

**A/N: I really like implying that the guys are gay! So much fun! Especially since I totally contradicted everything I said! Anyways, I hope you all liked it. As per usual, if you didn't you can shove it where the sun don't shine and leave me a flame!**

**Strange thing for the day: I just looked at my stats and it says I have had 24 hits. WHY? Please explain this to me because I am seriously at a loss.**

**Oh and by the by, would anyone mind telling what a C2 community is exactly? I know for most (if not all) of you I would be sounding a lot like an idiot at the moment, but I just need to know and I can't find out without asking.**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Oh my golly gosh! Chapter 25 already? Well, haven't I been a busy girl?**

Chapter 25: Hermione

_I wonder where Draco is. I can't believe I actually like him. I like chicken too… oh now look at me! I've gone random on myself. Only time I remember this happening was when- Oh fuck no! No, can't… shan't … won't … Fuck…_

"Earth to Hermione!" Ron said waving his hand in front of Hermione's face as most people do when they can't get your attention so they revert to rude ways of doing so… like singing 'old MacDonald' at the top of your voice in home group when you are trying to get Miss MacDonald's attention and therefore get detentions…

"A what now?" Hermione said dazed and confused as you would be having been interrupted while thinking and then regretting ever thinking.

"I said," Ron exaggerated 'said' to a degree that is not necessary even in extreme circumstances. "When is your next date with Draco?"

"Aren't you a bit too interested in my love life?"

"Love life now? I thought it was more of a dare life… or it was last month."

"Jesus Christ Harry! Where the hell did you come from?"

"You see Hermione. I, like many human beings, have the ability to walk. This may be a surprise to you but I actually use this ability to its full potential."

"Jeez Harry! No need to get all technical on us."

"Yeah, Ron might die if you do."

"Ha Dee fucking Ha. You are so funny."

"I know I am."

"OK! That is enough… for now at least. So when are you going out with Draco next?" Harry looked over at Ron rather strangely after he had finished, as if he wanted to do something.

"I'm not sure I should probably look for him now."

When she was far enough away so that she couldn't see them, Harry and Ron ran up the stairs towards their dorm.

**A/N: Voila! Although that means here is/there is I shall use it to mean TADA! No one has told me what a C2 community is so I tried looking and I am still very confused. NO fear! I shall figure it out or get told… eventually. So, as I shall continue to say many times over, LEAVE A COMMENT! EVEN FLAMES YOU LAZY PEOPLE WHO DARE TO LOOK AT THIS WITHOUT DOING SO! Thank you. **

**Well, now I have nothing more to say so I shall leave you with my current stats.**

**Reviews: 74 (WOOT!)**

**Hits: 248**

**Favs: 13**

**Alerts: 21**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: TOODLES!**

**NOT**

**INTERESTED**

**NO**

**ONE**

**REVIEWS**

**MY **

**NEW **

**FANFIC.**

**VERY **

**ANGRY!**

Chapter 26: Draco

He leaned in and kissed her passionately, he moved his hand down her back. Then someone came in.

"OH MY GOD!" She screamed. "HOW?" Tears started streaming down her face.

"Listen- I…" She shut off. _How could he? He said he loved me. I fell for him. Never again._ She turned and ran out of the room.

Hermione just stood there in shock. _What the hell is going on?_ "What the fuk was that about Draco?"

"I- Um… you see…"

"Is this what I think it is?" She said, starting to get very angry. "Were you cheating on me with that whore?"

"I… um…"

"YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH PAMDA!"

"Hermione it's not like that…" He said trying to save himself.

"Oh yeah? Then why is she going off and crying because she thinks your cheating on her?"

"I don't know…"

"Just fuck off Malfoy! I can't believe I actually loved you!" _Oops. Shouldn't have said that._

"You WHAT?"

"Nothing. I didn't say anything." _I'm lucky I'm a smart one._ She said to herself sarcastically. _Real original Hermione. Quick, scream for him to get out before he gets suspicious. _" NOW GET OUT MALFOY!" _Lucky._

**A/N: I hope this one was OK. I'm sorry I haven't updated but I had minor writers block and had to wade it out with a strangely random FanFic. You should all go and review on it because of it's strangness! Please do because no one is and it is very depressing. It's called 'The story with no name' because my writers black made me incapable of thinking up a title. So yeah REVIEW BOTH THAT AND THIS! Thanks.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: I am warning you, if I do not get more reviews on my other story (the story with no name) I swear I will stop writing this for EVER! That's right, not just ever but EVER! I have warned you so don't be angry when I abandon Fan Fictions all together! For now I leave you with the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Whether you think it or not I AM JOANNE K. ROWLING!**

Chapter 27: Hermione (actually it's Draco's POV but I have to keep the rhythm.)

He leaned in and kissed her passionately, he moved his hand down her back. Then someone came in.

"OH MY GOD!" _Oh fucking shit fuck crap! Not her, not now!_ "HOW?" Tears started streaming down Padma's face. _Thanks for the show babe._

"Listen- I…" He shut off. He didn't even know what lame excuse he was coming up with.

Hermione just stood there in shock. _Oh shit. Now I have to explain to her aswell._"What the fuck was that about Draco?"

"I- Um… you see…"

"Is this what I think it is?" She said, starting to get very angry. "Were you cheating on me with that whore?" _Yeah, she is a whore actually…_

"I… um…"

"YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH PAMDA!"

"Hermione it's not like that…" Draco said, trying to save himself. _Oh my GOSH! I did not just use the most overused line did I?_

"Oh yeah? Then why is she going off and crying because she thinks your cheating on her?"

"I don't know…" _Because it's an act you idiot mudblood._

"Just fuck off Malfoy! I can't believe I actually loved you!" _She WHAT!._

"You WHAT?"

"Nothing. I didn't say anything." _Real original Granger. _ "NOW GET OUT MALFOY!" _How did I guess? You are a walking cliché._

He walked outside as if he was sad to have to go but as soon as he turned the corner he started running, hoping and skipping around.

"You fag." Blaise said when he saw Draco acting like my brother does in secret.

"Wanna go out?" Draco said sounding sincere.

"You're tied up mate!"

"Not anymore. I just dumped her."

**A/N: There you go. Chapter number 27 up and running. Sorry about not updating for so long but I am moving so it has been pretty damn hectic around my lovely little hovel/box/car/house. **

**I wrote a script the other week for school and it was surprisingly easy. I had always steered away from scripts because it seemed so hard. I WAS WRONG! **

**WAIT! I did NOT just say that! Oh my gosh! The world is at an end! Oh gosh! I just realized I apologised as well? What has happened to me!**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I am moving house so if I don't update enough for your liking you can go and get fucked because I don't care. YEAH! You hear that?**

Chapter 28: Hermione (See, no more rhythm.)

She crumpled into a heap on the ground. Hermione had been running for ages. She didn't know where she was going but she was happy to get away. She kept thinking the same things, over and over. _I love him. LovED him. Why? How?_ She tried to calm down, just to stop for a moment, get her head clear, but as soon as she stopped crying she would start again.

When she finally calmed down she realized what she had been doing and laughed. "Wow. I must have really loved this dude." She said to herself. She got up, cleaned herself up with a quick spell and walked back up to the castle. She was just in time for a feast that happened to be happening but had no real relevance. She walked in and saw Harry and Ron sitting a hell of a lot closer then any straight men would be. "What are you fags doing now?" She asked as she sat down opposite them.

"What's it look like?" Ron replied.

"It looks like you guys are taking my advice on kissing and making out."

"Spot on." Harry said.

"You guys are open…"

"Your point being?"

"Pfft. Your asking me…"

They continued to eat in silence. Hermione couldn't stand seeing the happy couples everywhere but she was hungry so she decided to eat with her eyes shut. No one seemed to notice how sad she was.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: The long awaited and highly anticipated next chapter is here! How long have you been waiting? Only a month, mabey two... or five... but do I give a shit? NO!**

Chapter 29: Draco.

"You owe me how ever many galleons the bet is now." Draco said holding his hand out for the money.

"Uh, hows about NO!" Blaise said in a nicely placed indian accent now!

"Why the fuck not dick head!" Draco got angry... I think it's that time of month.

"Because you cheated."

"How?"

"You cheated on Hermione."

"You made a deal with Pansy and then never went through with it."

"how did you know about that?"

"Everyone knows about that Blaise! Pansy can't keep a secret! SO HAND OVER MY MONEY!"

"Must I?"

"Yes." Draco was calmer all of a sudden. He is deffinately ridding the crimson wave.

"Fine, FINE!" Blaise said pulling out the ammount of money needed because I can't remember the exact ammount of money so you vcan tell me if you want.

"Good! Now we can get yogught!" Draco said, sounding like a teen girl.

"Weeeeee!" Blaise started running up and down and all around with his arms out like an aeroplane. "I'm a little aeroplane nyow, I'm a little aeroplane, nyow nyow. Nyow nyow, noyw nyow. I'm a little aeroplane NYOW!"

"Jesus mother of christ, blaise you are a gay retard!" Draco called out to him.

"AND FUCKING PROUD OF IT!" Blaise said turning around to face Draco but still running.

**A/N: Tada! Now all we have to do is wait for the internet to get on my laptop so I can post it! YAY!**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Well, my Internet should be on today or tomorrow so you will be getting lots of updates. unless of course I decide to update only once to leave you hanging. I don't know.**

Chapter 30: Hermione.

"So Hermione, how are you and Draco going?" Harry asked suggestively. **(Suggesting what?) **

"Um. Well... Not so good guys." Hermione said sounding mildly sad.

"What happened?" Ron asked, taking an interest for once.

"Well, we were in a spare class room and then Padma walks in and start screaming and crying 'how could you?' and stuff."

"And then." Harry and Ron said together, trying to get more information. I should also mention that they are holding hands. Why do I tell you this? Because I am the author so I rule the world!

"I put two and two together and dumped him."

"You go girl!" Ron said punching the air.

"Woah. Was that gay or straight?" Harry asked as punching the air is very popular with straights and the frase "you go girl" is popular with gays.

"BOTH!"

"Ok, enough gay for me." Hermione said. "Who are you latest fancies?"

Ron and Harry both said the others name at the same time. Does that make sense? I do not care! Anyway, because of how they said it, it sounded like "Rarron."

"I take it you ARE actually gay then."

"Hell yes!"

"No shit sherlock!"

"Ok. No more cussing guys."

"Why the hell not?" Ron said trying to push her.

"Because I fucking said so."

"Ooh. Fisty bitch." Harry said joining in.

"At least I'm not a cock sucking, bum fucking, tampon liking, gay." Hermione said. _This game is going to be interesting._

"I'd rather be a flaming fag than a fucked up whore who eats Mc'Gonnagal every night." Ron shot back, sticking up for Harry. Hermione threw up on the spot.

"You fags are disgusting." She said after she cleaned up the mess with a quick spell.

"We try." They said.

**A/N: There. Now I know Hermione has gotten over Draco very quickly but I shall explain that later. For now you can review and then review some more. Not forcing you or anything but if you do not review I am afraid that I might have to eat you. Sorry, but it is true.**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Well hello there! I am supposed to have the Internet on here already but we can't find the disk we need to install so I have to wait until we d find it. That could take forever as we have moved house and are now in the stage of "most things are unpacked and placed randomly but some things are still packed or in a random box" so it's not to handy. Anyway, that's enough about me! On with the story!**

Chapter 31: Miscellaneous.

Dumbledoor sat, look at the students having a merry old time. _I really hope that they will try to relax. _He thought as he looked over the seniors._ Even with OWLs and NEWTs coming up they should have more fun... and, of course, start fucking people in other houses. I mean geez! Can't they take a hint? All gryfindor sluts need to fuck a slytherin man-whore. Oh what fun that would be..._ As his line of thought got dirtier and dirtier he looked over at the door and saw Hermione Granger come in._ I wish she would fuck Draco and get it over with. Oh the wonders of being an occlumens..._ When Hermione got closer he realized that she wasn't looking herself. She seemed a bit more depressed than usual. _I wonder what's got her knickers in a knot._ He quickly summoned one of the house elves with a special spell and got them to slip a potion into her drink. _She has to be happier after drinking that._

_ĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷ_

McGonnagal watched from her seat at the teachers table as all the students came in for dinner. _Aren't they a tardy bunch? I cannot wait until exams start. Then they wont be able to even think about being naughty. They are all far to laid back. The only one I can at all stand is Granger. At least she is a good student. If anything happened to her the wizarding world would end. Oh look, there is my favourite little witch now. Isn't she a cute one? It's a bit of a pity about the rules against student/teacher relationships... why is she looking so sad? I know what will fix her up._ She pulled out her wand under the table and muttered a spell to transfigures Hermione's food into an amazing little creature that will change it's shape to look like beef so that when someone eats it they can inject a special liquid into their throat to make the person get happier and happier over the week. _She will be happier then a child on Halloween with a particularly large bounty. _

_ĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷĿŏúįëβǖğøőęŷ_

Snape watched all the children enter the great hall for dinner. _Look at all of them. So happy and light. They all need to come to the dark side. Oh, wait... I can't wait to see Lord Vader tonight. We will hav_e _fun smashing the hopes of the jedi. Hey, look at Granger. She's been fucking my Drackie-poo. Surely he would have turned her to the dark side. I might make her happier so she can continue to think dear, dear Draco is a sex god and stay on the dark side! _He looked at Hermione and muttered the incantation that would make Hermione so happy that she would explode with happiness, then toned it down a bit so that she would only THINK she could explode with happiness.

**A/N: so what do you think? Has all the seriousness gone in me? Yes! I was in fact being serious in**

**the past few chapters! Amazing, I know, but true.**

**No, I did NOT get star wars and Harry Potter mixed up. I got bored with the serious Snape so I made a mental Snape. He goes to the same doctor as I do! Haha!**

**Any questions please ask. If you don't have any questions review. If you can't be bothered reviewing I will hunt you down and shoot you.**

**Lots of love! Haha! Had to.**

**Louiebugooey!**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Guess who's back! Sorry I haven't updated in EVER! I was SO busy and then I sort of... ANYWAY! Here is the next chapter! You should all thank a special little reviewer for REMINDING ME I EXIST!**

_Chapter thirty-two: Draco_

Draco sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. _Am I feeling things for her? I cant be, she was just a dare... But why do I care that I hurt her? Stop it Draco. Stop thinking about her!_

"Oi Draco! Get off your sorry ass and go apologize!" Blaise said as he barged into the room.

"Apologize to who?"

"HERMIONE! You git! You hurt her and now you feel bad! All you have done is mope in here for WEEKS! I know you love her, so go and say sorry!" Blaise moved through the cluttered room over to Draco's bed and tried to pull Draco up. "Come ON!" He said, yanking on Draco's arm.

"NO! I do not love that dirty little mudblood! How could I? She was just a dare!" Draco said, acting like a stubborn child and refusing to get off his ass and say sorry.

"For Christ's sake!" Blaise said, sitting next to Draco. "What will I have to do to convince you that you love her?" He asked in desperation.

Draco lay down and looked at the ceiling. _Nothing Blaise, I'm already convinced._ "You can't convince me, because it's not true."

Blaise leaned over and kissed Draco, holding him down. Draco was stunned at first, then disgusted. He tried pushing Blaise off him, but Blaise just kissed Draco more. Eventually, Draco gave up and waited for Blaise to stop kissing him. Soon enough, Blaise stopped and said "Are you convinced now?"

"God damn it Blaise." Draco said sitting up. "I hate you."

"I love you to Draco." Blaise said. "It's not my fault I'm better then you anyway."

"Blaise, you make no sense."

"You love Hermine. Go apologize." Blaise said, moving threateningly close to Draco.

"OK OK! Just don't kiss me again, ok?" Draco said, backing away from Blaise.

"Sure mate." Blaise said getting off the bed and looking extremely pleased with himself. "NOW GO!" He said, pointing to the door. Draco got up quickly and scrambled to the door, he couldn't get out fast enough. When he had gone, Blaise sat back down and laughed himself silly.

**A/N: There you go! The next chapter! Aren't you all a happy bunch! Thanks for the constructive criticism or tips or whatever you want to call them. Even if I ignore it, it is appreciated. **


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: I'M BACK! I haven't been updating purely because I had nothing to write. Now I am back and bored as ever! You should all check out my other story as well "The story with no name." It's about as random as you can get! GO GO GO!**

Chapter… 33? I think…: Hermione.

Hermione was walking to the library. It had been a while since she went there. She didn't care if people called her a bookworm. So what if she was? People had to get used to the fact that she was the best at everything. Bar DADA. Harry was the best at that…

She walked into the library and picked up her favourite book, _John Butler's hair and it's magical uses._ She sat down in a giant, red, cushiony chair. She loved that chair. It was so soft that it swallowed her up. It was like her own little world. A world where she could do what ever she wanted. Where she didn't have to worry about that git Dr—

"Guess who?" Some one had their hands over her eyes. It pissed her off because she couldn't see who they were, so she couldn't hit them for interrupting her reading.

"A stupid dick head who is about to get bashed into a lifeless pulp for interrupting my reading." She said, angrily.

"Guess again." The person said. Hermione was almost positive it was a guy. Their voice was too low for a girl. Their hands were amazingly soft though… like a girl who put on hand cream every night. Maybe it was a man talking but a girl holding her hands over Hermione's eyes. Then it hit her.

"Draco fucking Malfoy." She said as she pulled his hands away from her eyes and turning to face him. "What do you want?" She said coldly.

"I want to apologize. I was—I AM a fuck faced, tampon licking, man-whore." He said, sounding like he meant it. _He's just trying to get you back, Hermione. He doesn't love you!_

"You forgot ignorant prick." She said, paying little attention to him and turning back to her book.

"Hermione!" He said, almost desperately. "I know I hurt you. I know what I did was wrong."

"Then why the hell did you do it?" She said angrily, but not turning from her book.

"Because I am an idiot. I didn't know how much I love you." Draco said, taking her book from her hands.

Hermione looked up at him and saw how much he cared. His eyes told it all. **(So I have a thing for eyes.)** She stood up and hugged him. "I love you, Draco. I love you so much."

He kissed her cheek tenderly. "I love you too, Hermione. More then I know…"

**A/N: SEE! THEY MADE UP! Don't think this is the end! There is a lot more to go. Basically, I am going to get bored more often so I will think of new things to write and twist and turn and other stuff… ANYWAY! You can be expecting more updates because I have school holidays. Stupid commonwealth games making me not go to school and be stuck in boredom… Perhaps I need a life…**


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